This week is my last week at work. They wanted to extend the contract but with whole lots of utilising a 3-in-1 person, it gets very exhausting and drained out. My post is a Junior Editor. For the past 2 months, what have I been doing at work? hmmm.. pretty interesting thing to ponder about till now. Digitising to tape, digitise from P2 Card and assemble sequences for editors to cut. Sound pretty easy isn't it? Sometimes, I guess the management or should I say, the Manager, that plans the schedule will affect the catalyst in me. Sometimes, I felt so used by my Manager but to throw all negative thoughts aside because it will only affect my work and dampen my enthusiasm to prove my worth. But at the end of the day, I always ask myself, is this worth sacrificing for the company? I trust God to handle this and I shall pray for Allah's blessing in their deeds.
My schedule has been hectic ever since the turnover rate there has been pretty high. Ironically, even at these point of time. Work is pretty manageable even though there were many technical or software issues which sometimes resulted in my insomnia. You know, when you think too much or you care too much, you end being the one in misery. (Misery business I guess). I do wait patiently for any job opportunity to come knocking my head, till now.. i am still waiting. (maybe not patiently anymore).
Recently, I went to Murdoch University study centre, to find out more about the degree course they're offering. Bachelor of Commerce (Human Resource Management) and B.O.C ( Marketing Management) capture my excitement. I met Alfred, Executive officer in charge for the course, and he explain the course duration, programme and the course payment.It was expected that the amount will reach up to 5 digit. Now where the hell am I getting that money? Time to plan now. I need to find a stable and permanent job so I can continue to save. (an office hour job will help) Hopefully, my plan to further my education there will not be mere hopes. Amin.
My life is filled with so much work that I said to myself recently after reading a book by Susan Jeffers-Dare to Connect. That's it I need to pump in more adventure and buzz into my life. To start up, I have been catching with my service team for wedding (kendarat team), Skate friends, Bestie and love ones. I am really glad to do some skating. I felt like beginner again. You know, seeing these people around me, always trying to land the tricks and be better, it snaps back to my head, "Look at you, and you're giving up?" Oh I know this tiny voice which I called ("Mimi") can be evil but at least it always make me goes, "Iya tak ya juga eh (That's true) or Diam la kau( Shuddup you)." I need to do adventurous and random stuff that will keep me alive.
Just a couple of lines that has been keeping me motivated, maybe this will help some people who are feeling...hmmm... words associated with sad, used or angry.
"Whatever the situation, the more hurtfully or obnoxiously a person ever acts towards you, the smaller he/se feels inside, the more out of touch he is with his own inherent beauty, and the more psychologically numb he is to feeling of other people.His act of superiority is inevitable his attempt to hide his own humiliation lack of self worth".
Basically, in my understanding, It doesnt matter how people treat you because the problem lies with themselves. Don't ever try to bring yourself down cos you yourself would have to bring yourself up. So break free and let loose if you want to. (oh this reminds me of song, but i cant remember what) Don't control what you want people to think of you cos it will never ever ever ever ever ever stop.
Finally I'm out from that place. Very dramatic ending. Macam drama. Mentang-mentangla, production house, my ending pun macam drama. Anyway, if you have seen me lately, don't be surprise. I just need to be myself, do some soul-searching(also job-searching) and get myself together. Lately, situations have been hard between me and siraj. It's kinda shaky, misunderstanding, not able to compromise and plus my job and some things.. phew.. the strings are getting more tangled up. Slowly.. breathing in and out..
BUT.. I'm still Syaz that you used to know. I just want to be my old self for a while, I dun want to think what people are thinking of me now cos it just makes me stress. Now, Im just doing things with my heart and just being myself. I always have problems reminding myself about these statements..
1. I always have a choice 2. Who are they to judge me?
Here are some pics.
I bought a new Samsung Phone Model: SGH J700 as my phones practically failed me. I bought from Mobile Castle in Beach Road. The phone plus 1 GB memory card costs me $220. I don't know if it's cheap. "Beggars can't be choosy". So I accept the phone with the condition it has a camera, mp3 player and bluetooth. :)
Getting Vain
Effect on Siraj's Phone Gooing Crazzy..My sweet mom
Apologies for my disappearance. My past days have been so disheartening and fearful (future days too) People question my decision to stay in that company. B-4-2-5 Pictures (8-Carmen-Terrace-Singapore-459487)
Here goes details about my job. Description. Stressful. Fearful. Clueless. Tortured Mentally and Physically. Ill-treatment. Oblige to things you never thought you'll do. Basically HELL.
Job Scope of a Production Assistant (PA) in B-4-2-5 Pictures (security check) 1. Clean toilets 2. Find his misplaced items when he cant find. 3. Maintenance of house (apply singapore services, singtel bill, go to the bank) 4. Clean the kitchen and backyard and the whole house 5. Mop the house 6. Vaccuum the house 7. Clear all dustbins 8. Attend to whatever the boss wants you to do. (e.g buy cigarette, find his whiskey, buy ice) 9. Find sponsors for the new programme ( only telling you men's clothes but no further description like what theme or what kind of styling) 10. Do research for the upcoming production (which you don't know what you have to research on, when you ask, you only get answer, "Find out yourself" or "See for yourself" or Vague answers ("Thailand", "Bali", "Yogyakarta") 11. Everything under the sun and moon
So the question is...... WHY STAY? To be honest, I myself don't know what I'm doing there. Maybe work experience and bad experience at the same time. Maybe Friends I make... Kav, Reza, Franky, Lihar, Ellie, Fitri, Din... But I guess I have motivation going saying "something good will come out of this." Sadly, I keep proving myself wrong every single day. Conclusion for everyday: Bad experiences make you appreciate people and life better.
When it all started? Receive a call on 12 February after my careless email/mistake of not finding more about a PA job. I should not have attended the interview on 13 February but my desperation to get a job turned out hell. Well, Madness started on 14 February. The day that I cried with the stress and pressure from work. The day that I stood my love up for 5 hours cos of the work. It all started on this very day that marked the black days in my life.
Pros of staying there 1. Learn to control anger, emotions. (train me to be insensitive) 2. Able to travel to countries, Thailand (in April) , Indonesia (to come) 3. Promises about the technical training in Batam in JUNE 4. Meeting experienced talented people from Malaysia, Indonesia (He believes that local people cannot make it. Which I feel that he is saying about himself too)
Cons of staying there 1. Being scold everyday with words like (F* YOu, Asshole, Bodoh) 2. Ego boss that never admits his mistakes, always putting the blame on you 3. Not training up on the things that I am good at or my strength in production 4. Make you a punching bag 5. Do shit work that I never thought I will do 6. Scolded for not knowing certain things 7. Make judgements about you and social life. 8. Starts work at 10 and finish at 11 or 12. 9. Location: BEDOK-KEMBANGAN area (while I stay Choa Chu Kang. almost (1h 30 mins by mrt and bus) 10. Force to run errands like buy cigarrete or whiskey. 11. Never show or give you basic respect 12. Treat you like his own kids 13. No life, saturday and sundays are for him also. 14. Force to do betting. 15. Not expanding on my interest/knowledge in camera works, editing, animation 16. Sit down with boss and colleagues at coffeeshop, drinking the beer away thru the night. (I have to stay there with me wearing a tudung) Imagine the kind of message that I am sending, only god knows. Maybe because I have a principle that as long as I don't get myself influence and with Allah in my heart, HE will guide me to the right path.)
There are so many more things which I really don't know if I should say. One particular thing which I utterly hate: Mina tudung rosak is his topic whenever he's drunk or if he wants to prove a point that I am not who they think I am. A Malay girl in tudung. At the end of the day, he just wants people to know that this people exists and there. I am one of them. (Astaughfirullah)
Better in Time The doa that keeps me going. Ya Allah, jauhkan/hilangkan diri ku dari kesedihan, kesusahan dan fitnah manusia. Tabahkan hati dan imanku dari segala dengki hasad manusia dan gangguan syaitan) One day, one moment, I am going to tell him (H-A-M-ID O-S-M-AN) that I shall not be working for him anymore. The time will either be in JUNE/JULY or even in a few days' time. One thing I learn from this job is the key to fail is when you try to please everyone.
Pictures in Bangkok.
At Changi Airport
I wonder how I smile
The man that listens to me everyday
Leaving to Bangkok
PTN MEETING with Jeanine, Shah, Schizo, Siraj at Seoul Garden Marina Square POST KARMA
KARMA team
EXT. SEOUL GARDEN :)
Jeanine
Jeanine Again
Sweets for my sweet
Schizo
Shah
Jin Li
Me.
Eating Up
Love this shot.
Another shot.
Looking different.
Chicken Wrap
STREETS of SINGAPORE Need to take shots of Singapore for openin grafik of Ilusi 2.
Our Moments on Labour Day
He was angry at this point.
Drama queen
Mama and Aqiyah
Papa and Aqiyah
Back to us again.
So lost puppy.
Back to busy Syaz.
I miss literally everyone I know, my friends and people who care so much about me. Pray for me and I hope to be strong for them.
If you happen to read my blog, thank you for dropping by. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Till then. Bye.
P.S: I love you, Siraj. I just need you to know that. Thank you, my love.
I miss everything in my life. Apologies to him. On your birthday and for the days that i couldn't be there for you. current updates on myself. -Currently working in b-4-2-5 p-i-c-t-u-r-e-s (without the dash for security purpose) -Doing tv programme, S-N-E-K, for Suria (last episode already) -Being offered to go training at Jakarta for two weeks ( parting with him now is painful enough) -Boss plans to make me assistant director for the next programme (more shit, more crap, more scolding) - still wondering my pay (dunno how and when to ask) - need Allah's petunjuk so badly
Doakan terbaik for me people! I know ini semua rancangan Allah s.w.t. I believe something good will come up for me. If I cannot take this pressure, biar Allah sahaja yang menentukan. Even if He thinks my time is up, i will redha till then.
I stayed home for the eve and public holiday. I have been searching highs and lows for jobs. I really don't know what i want to settle as for my career. With openings at Giant, IRAS, Pizza Hut caused so much thinking at the end of the day. I want to be doing something which involves tapping of my skills and abilities. The work experience at the Motorola Factory, Cheers, Telemarket Field had definitely shaped my mind to never enter in that kind of environment.
Bottomline: Completely NOT sure if i'm ready for the workforce.
I could be settling for an office job but what kind of job is another question to be pondering about. Ya allah, i hope you will show the way that's best for me. Also considering to join NTU, BFA in Film-making or BFA in Digital Animation. So many difficulties,
1. Insufficient time to complete portfolio, 2. Laptop that has my previous works is down 3. Want to gain work experience 4. No cash at the moment to repair laptop.
My head's spinning so fast thinking about this. Now i know what it means by crossroads. This is it. Hopefully by the time, i typed at this blog, i have a job and a happy post. Wish everyone who celebrates CNY, a Happy New Year. May this year be filled with prosperity and happiness.
He's at Malacca now, with his family.
Hopefully he doesn't make me wait long. i will be here waiting for you. Kisses.
I shall now conclude, I'M DONE WITH SCHOOL!!.. Although it's not officially, but hey the workload is over finally. KARMA is the title of the film. The anger, grief, suffering and pain were paid off at last. I will try to post the video online if im able to compress it.
Right now, i'm looking for a part time job. Im not sure whether to pursue in the media industry or just work in admin office. Considering the pay and the environment. I'm really scared the history will repeat itself. Enough of bad supervisors or superiors that make you feel like crap every single day at work. I shall not mention the company but it's my internship company. I wasnt able to excel much in the attachment programme as i was placed in design department which is totally beyond my expertise. I was really looking forward to a video production company.
I shall say that there is a new Syaz right now. Well it's still me but in terms of outlook, you'll be surprirsed. The change is obvious
Why the sudden change?
1. i feel that I'm ready and prepared to commit this through out
2. im done with school
3. i had promised myself that i will wear it as soon as school's over.
Why not last time?
1. Insufficient clothes
2. My round face (not that i have square face now, i'm still stuck with the roundness)
I didn't tell anyone when I'm gonna wear it except Atiqah and Siraj. They were so supportive of me which finally made me pursue what i had wanted all along. I especially love to see the smile on Mama's face. She was like staring at me and God knows what's going on in her mind. I can only know that she really loves it. There were reasons that stopped me previously but He, the Cherisher of Mankind, has helped me out in times of trouble. I asked him to show me the right thing to do and the night before, my aunts had asked my family out for the first time to go Geylang. They treated me with some clothes that covers the aurat and said that " Who knows you might want to wear it in future". i was surprised by this but i still kept numb about the plan that i had. so my aunts still have not seen me. The strange thing is, they buying clothes at Geylang for me. Maybe He, who Knows everything, has all these planned for me. I can at least be thankful for His Grace.
And today is friday. it's supposedly skating day. I shall be prepare with people who are gonna laugh at my change. "A tudung skater" is gonna be weird but hey, there's always something new everyday. and today is gonna be the first day.
Here we are:
Busy with FYP. Three weeks left, pressure is getting closer now. With the production of trailer, trailer sounds, shooting and photoshoot of actors and not forgetting the most tedious work of all is the paperwork including weekly reports which were way due 5-6 weeks ago. i managed to take myself out for a short 1 hour to snap shots of my environment. Going out with Siraj later. He says he's surprising me with today's event, so i shall hold my jaw dropping moment or sparkling tears dripping cos this will be the day where a new year shall come. forget the bad memories, dreadful criticism and HeLLO 2008!, Insya-allah i have more time with my family, Siraj and my constant motivators.2008 will also be the pay-off year for our Fyp. My presentation skills have to improve, i dont want to be ranked as the weakest member in the group again, enough of sleepless nights thinking what can be done to improve myself in the eyes of the judges. being the only woman in the group, i have to prove them that women do know what action film is all about. i want to nail it right across their faces. wishes: buy more clothes-shirts-jeans-office wears. time for pics now. so enjoy.
This date, going out with Atiqah and SP peeps for shopping hunt down Orchard. They said there will be sale and all. Going on Christmas Eve will definitely have "People Traffic" going on. If there's anything interesting, shall let you guys know.
Last Sunday, i turned down all kendarat-offers just to go out with Bik Ita's family. It's has been really long since i hang out with Bik Ita, just chilling at swensen, play bowling, watch movies and basically just have a dinner. I would now say a lil bit about her. She's my aunty that looks exactly like me. Except the fact that she has much fairer skin and she's older. I shall post her full pic some other time. That sunday, i went to JARDINE FAMILY DAY. That's her company that she's working for i-dunno-how-many-years. Probably 8 - 10 years. You might probably guess her age by now. She's 20+ years older than i do.
But the fact that i couldnt understand is she always look young with me. People says we're sibling. But some people do say she's my mom.( i'm cool with that fact). Anyway, in that event, i know im scared of mascots, but a Strawberry ShortCake was there. I wasnt scared of her, as i could see her face. So my job was get balloons for the kids. These kids ask me to ask her to make swords, rabbit, dancing flower with the long sausage balloon. So yap, i felt like i was 14 there. But i had fun especially when Siraj joined us. He's so shy with my family, i understand that feeling, but he passed, for a first meeting with my bik ita's family. Thanks for coming Siraj. It meant alot for me and Bik Ita.
Here are pics.
Hanis, 4-years old. Always there to make me smile and wish i have a kid like her.
Strawberry Shortcake Too bad cant see her face.
Hiding away with a balloon. That's Bik Ita.
Your Syaz. any similarities with her ? (aunt) : )
My mom, Mas. She has small eyes, always mistaken for Chinese. Still,I love you.
Hope you enjoy your day! See you soon somewhere peeps!!
*waiting patiently to go on a date with you. i'll be ready when you are*
this is the Third Time this post was deleted. It's 5.16am and im not sleeping yet. Due to ACAN assignment too..
Anyway,i had Recently went out with Ngee Ann Sec (Siraj's Friends) and Singapore Poly friends. It was my first time with Ngee Ann people. Very scary but it took a while to shake it off. Took pics of Hari Raya celebration with them and some random ones in school. So here they are. Pics taken by: Farhanah, Atiqah and Khai.
Cover Girl
Til Night Hunting
SP GANG GROUP With the Suria Actors
Ngee Ann Secondary. (Girl in red, the one Siraj used to like) Do we look alike?
Azaland and Siraj
Sweetest Couple
Hot Ngee Ann Girls
Siraj A.C
The Couplet
Blue Attracts Me
Magical Landscape
Post-Skate Mood
Close Up
Photogenic Wannabe
Kissables
Captured Heart and Face
Til Then. Bye
Missing every bit of you. Hopefully to get your call as soon as you pass the checkpoint.
I subscribe to an online newsletter about Dieting. I found out some excellent tips to a Good and Healthy Diet. For people like me, this is extremely important. I know how tough this diet thing can go. Especially, knowing you gain the mass instead of losing it.
Here it is. 10 Energy Boosting Food - Avoiding the Carbs.
Quick Energy Boosters: “The quickest energy is from carbohydrates. That’s the body’s first preferences for energy. Did you ever hear about carbohydrate loading? That’s what marathon runners do when they run a long race, they carb load. The reason they do that is because your body’s first preference for fuel is from stored carbohydrate, and you store carbohydrate as glycogen in your muscles and your liver." For quick energy, you want to have glycogen stored and that comes from things like:
1. Vegetables 2. Whole-grain Cereals 3. 100-percent fruit juice 4. Dried fruit 5. Fresh fruit 6. Nuts 7. Whole-grain pasta 8. Turkey or peanut butter on whole-grain bread 9. Water 10.Coffee
"Who said you can only have a sandwich at lunch? If you eat a sandwich in the morning for breakfast made up of protein, carbohydrate and a little fat, you might make it to lunch without being hungry. But if you eat only carbohydrates in the morning without anything else (like if you eat just a sweet roll, which is mostly just sugar and white flour), chance are you’ll be hungry in a few hours.”
“The No. 1 thing I always think about is water. When people don’t drink enough water and they aren’t hydrated all, their functions are out of choke. They might misinterpret hunger for being really thirsty. Energy is dependent on all the metabolic functions running properly and the No. 1 ingredient for that is water.”'
“Caffeine is natural. Skip the mocha chino with lots of cream and sugar. There is nothing bad about it, it perks you up, gets you going and keeps you more mentally alert . The secret is not drinking too much.”
That somewhat make me understand how to diet healthily. I hope this works on me. Fasting after RAMADHAN, the PUASA-ENAM (fast of six days after RAMADHAN month and on SYAWAL month) can be really challenging. Anyway, i have 3 more days to go. While Siraj has two more days. So Jealous. Pray that i lose those fats before going out with your friends. So embarassing to know if people says your girlfriend is fat. I know the saying goes, "Words cant bring you down". Somehow it has its way on me. Til Then. Ok. Bye.
Delighted After Buying New Guitar Strings.
Blurry Shot of Me and Sister When Out Raya with Friends
Apologies if i have been gone Today is the 2nd day of Hari Raya. [Victory for all Muslims, after fasting for one whole month and being able to beg forgiveness from The Great One, Allah s.w.t. No digital camera for me, so no pictures to be snapped. Altho i really love to. From the tears to smiles.
Been busy with Final Year Project. Couldn't finalise with the scripts. Always having loopholes with the plots and the background of actors. Didnt know making film was this hard. In year one, we used to make "Merepek" (CRAPPY) films. This time, it's really serious, like those films in Hollywood, Collateral, Mission Impossible, The Departed, and some more action films. Our film plays somewhat like The Departed. Except that, ours involve a lawyer, Drug dealer, affair, betrayal and psychiatrist. Anyway, i watched this movie with Achik, called The Resident Evil: Extinction. I really Didnt know he chose the couple seat. Anyway, there were scenes where i really literally jump out my seat. It was countless times. I'm so used to watching movies with you Siraj, i accidentaly grab his arm when I got shocked. I was so embarassed that i kept saying sorry to Achik. I recommend this show so much cos of the way the music fits in and the part where the zombie's face suddenly covers the screen. The ending: Much Well-Planned and Shot. Maybe i will watch a second time. This time, i will get to see people off their seat. Hopefully, it's not me going to get off my seat.
This few days i feel kinda delighted. Siraj gives me a surprise from his mom. Inside a brown bag, it's a baju Kebaya-pendek panjang. [a Customised Short Long Kebaya] I just call it that, cos it really looks like one. I don't know what to say, and also i felt so bad accepting it. Siraj said it was a birthday present. She also gives a Hari Raya Cake,called Kek Kukus. [Steamed Cake] i think it's called that.
Recently, my band makes a deal to jam every week. The other time, jamming at Beat Merchant at Bugis, was kinda a failure cum fun. We get to jam 1 hour 40 minutes and pay for one hour. We took like 30 minutes to tune the guitars. The guitars really got a huge problem in tuning. I think it was damaged or something. The group mention not to jam there again. Back to school, MOBERLY building. Here are the pics.
Anyway, i've finished my internship. Now earning money over the weekends by Kendarat-ing. Exhausted with baju kurong, and stares by makciks. It's ok. It's for myself and family.
Finally forming a girl band team consisting of zizie(rhythm & vocals), me(drums), jocelyn (keyboard), claire (bass).
Also, i found out new songs!.. Damn nice! Meg and Dia-Masterpiece, Roses, Monster, Cardigan Weather, Setting up Sunday.
Also i came across a deep meaning to love.
QUOTE: Now, in order to find out if you love someone, the basic place to start would be to ask yourself, do you want to be with them? If the answer to that question is no, then it really can't be love. When you love someone, you want to be with them. Not just be with them, but share everything with them.
You have a great day at work and want to rush home and tell them every wonderful thing that has happened. You feel excited at the prospect of just being in their company, just being close to them isn't enough, you want to be a part of them, a part of their life forever. You can't stand the thought of being away from them yet, when you are, you still feel that ever-present bond that ties you together wherever you go. You can almost feel what they are feeling. You feel like, with a little bit of effort, you can see what they are seeing and think what they are thinking. It is almost as if you both can occupy each other's bodies with complete trust and harmony.
Sometimes, i really don't know if i wanna be with him. I feel lonely and not complete at times. I love to take MRT with him as i get to be near and the silence causes pressure for me to talk nonsense and talk more. I miss his stares!. Right now, it's already two years now. I cant help but feel sad at times in this relationship.
is it because i'm not ready? do i really need to take a break for a while?
QUOTE: Being overly dependent on the other person is also not a part of love. Some people fall into the trap of thinking they love someone just because they are afraid to be alone. They have become dependent on the other person for so much that they don't know how to make it on their own, or they would much rather be with someone than no-one.
i feel this way, i think im too dependent on him. this shouldnt be the way.
Sorry i have Been busy lately with attachment, working at cheers, attending skate sessions for the juniors and being involve with NDP 2007.
I feel so bad for the people i used to spend my time with. It's not that i dont want to spend time with them. Currently right now, i cant seem to find time for myself either.
At work, it's not as fun as people think it is since it's a big company. It gets kinda boring when you've not much to do. Constantly disturbing one of the good people there for work. I feel so bad to ask Nora for work all the time. But at least she is someone i can look forward to whenever i go to work. She makes me smile and laugh with her remarks. However, Sometimes i feel like this particular person (if you wanna noe who exactly, ask me personally) is treating me unfairly. I hope internship time will pass very fast. I cant face him at work. He treats everyone normally but not me. What is it that i owe him that i deserve this kind of treatment?.. I seriously feel the unfair treatment he gave to me. Whateva it is, i hope it wont affect my grade for ITP. I hope something happen that make him realise that i'm not who he think i am.
I look forward to skating on friday. I get to meet my friends such as JOLYN, benji, skater girls, CLAIRE, JOSS STONE, KATH, JAS.. they just make me smile everytime on friday. At least i feel at home and really comfy with them. Unlike some of my working colleagues. u just can feel the Two sided face in them.
Btw, Im gonna go for a total change in look. I gonna work towards a healthy living and slightly more feminine. I started putting on powder to my face. Thanks to Mufa, we chose the right type of foundation to my face.! I'm gonna say now. i will Perm my hair!!... these are the choices...
Maybe i wont be getting the fringe.. hehe
#Choice 2
I hope it will turn out fine.
For now, Romance in the air..
Especially, I miss my darling, 7.90!.. he likes to be called that. it feels lyk robotic thing. Anyway, i'm really sorry if i have hurt u at times or i get upset with u easily. I really love you, i just can't survive a day without messaging/ call or msn-ing with u. Dat's how bad it is. Let's not keep fighting. I feel terrible and sick after that. I hate to hear ur voice when you're crying. It just hurts me so bad. Siraj, lets make this work ok!.. i shall open up and voice my unhappiness and i know u shall too. I like u and it still hasn't change when i first lay my eyes on you. I hope u still haf the feelings u haf for me after knowing i lyk u..
In train, so nice to meet u after werk....
Over at Jolyn dearest's house...We went over to play with her pretty, sexy cat. Gosh, i wish i had a cat.. hehe.. Thanks to jolyn for the pic..
That's all for now.. Till Den.. take care peeps!.. I miss You people as much as you miss me. Hehe:P
When You're Gone- Avril Lavigne I always needed time on my own I never thought I'd Need you there when I cried And the days feel like years when I'm alone And the bed where you lie Is made up on your side
When you walk away I count the steps that you take Do you see how much I need you right now?
When you're gone The pieces of my heart are missin' you When you're gone The face I came to know is missin', too When you're gone The words I need to hear To always get me through the day And make it okay I miss you...
I've never felt this way before Everything that I do Reminds me of you And the clothes you left they lie on the floor And they smell just like you I love the things that you do
When you walk away I count the steps that you take Do you see how much I need you right now?
When you're gone The pieces of my heart are missin' you When you're gone The face I came to know is missin', too When you're gone The words I need to hear To always get me through the day And make it okay I miss you...
We were made for each other Out here forever I know we were Yeah yeah All I ever wanted was for you to know Everything I do I give my heart and soul I can only breathe I need to feel you here with me Yeah...
When you're gone The pieces of my heart are missin' you When you're gone The face I came to know is missin', too When you're gone The words I need to hear Will always get me through the day And make it okay I miss you...
Although i'm excited for the camp, a part of me grabs depression close to my heart. It cant take it anymore. No more Chemistry inside her now. Maybe it's time to go and leave this great person.But i cant live without him. He makes me smile, knows my heart well enough, and never mistreat me. Sometimes the chemistry isnt there. but i'm still holding on..
I'm starting internship on monday at andrew road. starting to miss my poly buddies. The crazy ones, the chatty ones, the babbling ones and the complaining ones! all in one, i guess that's what make them special.
Also, patiently waiting for my pay. Really broke. cannot even go out and spend time with my love. Without $$, you practically cant do anything but jus walk and walk. Hoping i got a few bucks quickly..
Finally i'm back after a few months. Many ups and downs in life. Niwae, I'm currently working in cheers Signature park ,which is in a condominium,at Jalan Jurong Kechil near Bukit timah plaza. At first, it was crappy cos i had to do many things and with only one staff handling everything, that's as good as asking one person to save a thousand drowned passengers. Ok, im beginning to crap. I must say that some mistress which are not locals are very stuck up. You know like maids marrying the Caucasian guys and they become mistress and they treat everybody like crap thinking they're big F**** boss.
Currently, i'm also preparing for the Collision Camp. A camp planned by skates camp people. It's damn bloody fun. although im jus a facilitator, i can bet u it's damn fun. i would wan to be camper. We had our preparation camp last friday. Everything almost went according to plan except that on that day i work as early as 7 am and needed to be awake like 5 am to open the shop. So sorry if i kept sleeping and dozing off during the briefing.
Enough of events, now it's how i feel. sometimes, i dont know how to describe the feeling when u just needed to be with someone u love. Just be there and just be there. ok..it's like doing nothing but just relaxing and take a time-out from the mess in life. I haven't been doing tat. i miss it. The pay for chingay is taking so long, im praying they dont screw us up. once is enough. twice i seriously cannot trust people. i'm losing myself real soon. i dont how to describe myself at times. jus feel like saying that i'm not enjoyin my days these few weeks. hopefully it will turn out betta in the days to come.
Thanks to Khai. I managed to work and earn some cash. Actually, the cash has yet to arrive. Still waiting. From the title itself, Chingay Parade has ended over the last weekend. Khai and i were attached to the Japanese Association Singapore (JAS). We were their cameramen throughout the two days. Pretty tiring job but it was worth at last. I learnt some things too. From our senior especially. He gave good feedback that can help us improved. Thanks to Toba-san (Mr Toba in Japanese).
We had two days of work. First day is the preview of the parade and a study for us to familiarise to which shot we can take that may look aesthetically pleasing. Here are the pics. Some of them are really impromptu. The unfamiliar face is Toba-san.
Day one of chingay. Most of the audience consist mainly of students and youngster. Very happening i must say. The costume quite nice but it looks like bath robe somehow. Hehe. Never get to keep it tho. If you can see closely, my heair has got some glitter. One of the make up people place it on our head. Omg, now i realise it looks like white hair.
After a long day we had in Day One, we cam-whore.We wanted to put a sad and tired face but it turns out to be a smiley and retarded face. I'm not complaining tho. haha. Muscles, shoulder and boobie cramp!
The studying of the plan drawn by Toba-san (top right). Muke Jepun Sak! aku tau!... Oh yes, our faces are painted too! It's good in a way cos people tot we are Japanese too! Kunichiwa!
a Before After pic after make-up Who cares if people wanna say i look horrible without make up. A bit like maid can. Haha..
Now missing him! Love To fight or Fight To love!.. Catch Prase of the day!.. Outz!
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scatteringpizza's journal
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